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Thomas Gordon: Active Listening

Thomas Gordon feels that one the most effective ways of responding to children’s “feeling” or “problem” messages is the invitation to say more or as he calls it, “the door opener”. This type of response invites the child to share his own feelings or ideas. The important thing is that the listener does not communicate any of his own judgments or feelings. When the li ....

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.... Gordon gives the example of hunger. When a child is hungry, he must communicate his hunger to someone else. He selects a signal he thinks represents his hunger to the other person. The child picks a code (encoding process) and perhaps says, “When is dinner ready, mom?” The mother might decode the message accurately and understand that the child is hungry. However, she might decode the message inaccurately and communication might break down. In acti ....

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